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WOULD YOU DARE ENTER THE HOUSES FROM OUR FAVOURITE HORROR FILMS?

FEATURE ARTICLE
LATEST REVIEWS
By Charlie David Page
24th October 2021

It's Halloween! The time of year when ghouls and goblins come out of the woodwork - but before you go out trick-or-treating, we've put together a handy guide to distinguish between the good houses safe to collect candy from, or the bad houses whose mere presence could put your life in peril. So decide now - do you dare to...


TRICK

JUMP TO...
Chris Jess Joel Connor Daniel Jake Charlie Brent Lily Ashley

Jess
CHRIS DOS SANTOS
ENFIELD COUNCIL HOUSE IN 'THE CONJURING 2' (2016)
Any house that The Warrens enter is one to steer clear of, but the Enfield house is a true nightmare. Firstly, the Crooked Man: this terrifying lanky man haunts my nightmares to this day, and there's also Bill Wilkins (an old man) who yells a lot. But the queen herself, Valak or The Nun, is the biggest reason to not 'Trick or Treat' here. She is a horror icon, but I definitely don't want to meet her. The only plus if I ever stumble into this house is I have seen the film so many times that I could - in theory - defeat her (her name holds dominion over her, so there is a fun tip), but I'll leave the paranormal research to the Warrens.
Jess
JESSICA FENTON
THE CABIN IN 'THE CABIN IN THE WOODS' (2011)
I like my horror the way I like my men - funny. And with that, welcome to 'The Cabin in the Woods'. This humble abode is the kind of dwelling where all your nightmares reside, and can and will come true in this play on choose-your-own-adventure horror. 'Scream' (1996) taught us the rules of horror, 'The Cabin In The Woods' taught us just how the game is played - and, more importantly, why. Thanks to some cheeky clichés, tropes, a dose of the tongue-in-cheek and the obligatory Hemsworth, there's something for everyone here, with the added bonus of some laughs along the way. Even a horror neophyte like me got a kick outta this one. So place your bets on who comes out of this one alive.

READ OUR FULL REVIEW

Joel
JOEL KALKOPF
THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY IN 'WILLY WONKA AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY' (1971)
I know what you're thinking. "Silly man, do you mean treat here? And is Willy Wonka even a horror film?" I can answer both of these questions with another question - Did you see this film as a kid!? It's beyond horrific! Children are tormented, teased, sung out to exile and leave the factory completely misshapen or broken. The fact that this is a chocolate factory makes it all so much worse, because it's the hope that kills you. You imagine that knocking on Wonka's door for sweets would lead to glory days, but you're more likely to leave as life-sized chocolate pumpkin while an Oompa Loompa rhythmically sings to your doom.
Connor
CONNOR DALTON
MYERS' FAMILY HOUSE IN 'HALLOWEEN' (1978)
Take it from me - you don't want to be anywhere near the old Myers place. Many years back, on Halloween night, six-year-old Michael killed his sister Judith with a kitchen knife, and the house has been abandoned ever since. Relators have tried to sell it but with little luck, and if someone were to answer the door, you won't like who opens up. It's still Michael's home, and each time he escapes lock up, that's where he goes... back to the scene of the crime. He likes his solitude there and doesn't care for visitors. No candy is worth getting on his bad side, kids.

READ OUR RETROSPECTIVE REVIEW

Daniel
DANIEL LAMMIN
GRAHAM HOUSE IN 'HEREDITARY' (2018)
I mean, apart from the [REDACTED FOR SPOILING THE ENDING], the family is a bit of a bummer and I doubt they'd have good candy. Also, considering that thing where [REDACTED] gets [REDACTED] by the [REDACTED], you can't guarantee you won't find Toni Collette screaming or keening or coming at you with some sort of weapon. I'd rather go to Anne Dowd's house in that film; she seems nice and would probably have cookies.

READ OUR FULL REVIEW

Jake
JAKE WATT
ROBESONS' HOUSE IN 'THE PEOPLE UNDER THE STAIRS' (1991)
As far as a house to avoid, I'd stay away from the Robesons' house from Wes Craven's 'The People Under the Stairs' (1991). Sure, it's filled with a dragon's hoard of dollar bills and rare gold coins. But this former funeral parlour in Los Angeles is owned by a pair of incestuous psychos, one of whom likes to put on a gimp suit while hunting home invaders with his pump-action shotgun and pet rottweiler. The house is fortified with a booby-trapped security system and secret passages to keep out the lower-class neighbours. Plus, there are cannibals locked inside the basement and one scrambling around inside the walls. It's a high risk, high reward trick-or-treat scenario if you're a treasure hunter. I just want some sour worms and Maltesers, though.
Charlie
CHARLIE DAVID PAGE
BRENNER HOUSE IN 'THE BIRDS' (1963)
My grandparents showed me this film when I was 10. That is too young for a child to experience the horrors of 'The Birds'. Thinking about being trapped inside that house in the film's final act as the winged demons try to infiltrate the structure and murder me was a seriously scary thought. As with many Alfred Hitchcock films, 'The Birds' is revered not only for its enduring endearment among audiences, but its advanced technical skills - even today, the effects in this movie are terrifyingly realistic. You can feel the air from the flap of each wing and pain of every talon as it pierces flesh. Seeing the creatures circling the building and gathering to ravage those people inside still sends shivers down my spine. Stay away from this house. Hell - stay away from the town of Bodega Bay.
Brent
BRENT DAVIDSON
HILL HOUSE IN 'THE HAUNTING OF HILL HOUSE' (2018)
We all know I'm terrible at watching scary films. I'm so bad I need to watch them before midday and listen to a bunch of Enya for the rest of the day to be able to sleep that night. But 'Hill House' is an absolute treat. Weaving horror and family drama into an incredible mix, it does what no other horror has gotten me to do - watch it after 5pm! The family dynamic is so interesting and the exploration of grief and past trauma is captivating. When you add in some interesting camera work - with a lot of very long shots - some moments feel like you are either watching a play or are actually a silent witness to these deeply personal moments. 'The Haunting of Hill House' has stayed with me since I binged it - and not because of the nightmares lurking within, but the truly human aspect of it all; perhaps that's the scariest part?
Lily
LILY MEEK
EEL MARSH HOUSE IN 'THE WOMAN IN BLACK' (2012)
This film still holds a great place in my heart for its gothic horror twists and turns within a great story in a spooky setting... with Daniel Radcliffe. How could it get better? Based on the novel written by Susan Hill, the film does its counterpart justice and serves as good ol' fashion nail biter.
Ashley
ASHLEY TERESA
OSWALT HOUSE IN 'SINISTER' (2012)
When washed-up novelist Ellison Oswalt (Ethan Hawke, 'The Guilty') moves his family to Chatford, Pennsylvania, their fresh start takes an unexpected turn when he finds a box of incredibly disturbing Super 8 films in the attic. In addition to being visited by some creepy crawlies (snakes in the attic do not make for a good time!), the Oswalt house is ground zero for a pagan deity named Bughuul (Nick King) to possess anyone who dare live there. A trip to this house will spike your heart rate as much as the film's many jump scares.

READ OUR FULL REVIEW

TREAT

JUMP TO...
Chris Jess Joel Connor Daniel Jake Charlie Brent Lily Ashley

Jess
CHRIS DOS SANTOS
MASTER DEVIL'S HOUSE IN 'HOCUS POCUS' (1993)
Any house The Sanderson sisters enjoy, I want to visit. The house just oozes Halloween - and while Garry Marshall is giving one of his creepiest performances, it's worth visiting just to get a glimpse of Winifred, Sarah and Mary. Plus the house is packed with candy, so I won't go hungry.
Jess
JESS FENTON
MR MERTLE'S HOUSE IN 'THE SANDLOT' (1993)
Is there anything scarier than a child's imagination? In reality, what is an adorable fluffy pooch can turn into the scariest of monsters. And a reclusive old man can suddenly become a figure to haunt your sleep... or local baseball field - at least, that's the case for the kids of The Sandlot'. A childhood favourite that features among the likes of 'The Goonies', 'Now and Then' and 'Home Alone', 'The Sandlot' is a late Gen X, early Gen Y staple complete with a frightening home and step-by-step instructions on how to make the perfect s'more. Oh, and the phrase "You're killing me, Smalls!" will enter your vocabulary and stay there for many, many, many years to come.
Joel
JOEL KALKOPF
VAMPIRE SHARE HOUSE IN 'WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS' (1971)
Whether the TV or film version, this may be the perfect house to visit on Halloween. You'd be none the wiser with the "decorations" across the front lawn of corpses and blood, and you're bound to have a good laugh with whoever answers the door. You can marvel at their vampire "costumes" - and although you may leave empty-handed in terms of treats, it would be an experience you can't forget (as long as you aren't a virgin, of course).
Connor
CONNOR DALTON
BATES MOTEL IN 'PSYCHO' (1960)
There's always vacancies at the Bates Motel - but lollies, well, I'm not so sure. A mother and son run the motel, but their interests don't exactly lie in sweets. The son, Norman, is kindhearted and would probably rummage through the draws and cabinets to find something fitting. But if you run into his mother, she may not be as accommodating. Word on the street is that things don't go too well if you're ever in Norma's company. But perhaps it isn't the best idea to be trick or treating on the highway - just a thought.
Daniel
DANIEL LAMMIN
EDWARD'S HOUSE IN 'EDWARD SCISSORHANDS' (1990)
It's not technically a horror film, but it certainly has its creepy moments, and I would certainly love to go trick or treating to Edward's mansion on the hill. For one thing, it has all the spooky elements without being threatening. For another, I'm sure Edward could use the company. And most importantly, he makes lots of cookies - and considering he doesn't have much else to do, I suspect those cookies are Ted Lasso-level good.
Jake
JAKE WATT
FREELING HOUSE IN 'POLTERGEIST' (1982)
Given a choice of scary houses to trick-or-treat at, I'd lean towards the Freeling house from Tobe Hooper's (and Steven Spielberg's) 'Poltergeist'. Sure, it isn't as cool as the house in Lewis Allen's 'The Uninvited' (1944). Okay, it sits atop some Native American burial ground in California. But, as someone who doesn't smoke and exercises regularly, I feel like I have a strong chance of surviving attacks from a clown doll, an old tree and an unflattering bathroom mirror. The house even sucks itself into a vortex and disappears completely at the first hint of defeat! What a loser. I could take candy from that house quite easily.
Charlie
CHARLIE DAVID PAGE
THE FRANKENSTEIN PLACE IN 'THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW' (1975)
Interplanetary dancing, transexuals, muscular men - who wouldn't want to be caught up in the madness that is 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show'? Hot patootie, this is a Halloween classic that never fails to fill me with antici... pation. Breaking stereotypes far ahead of its time, the legacy of this trailblazing LGBTQIA+ gem has left changed the cinematic landscape for the past 46 years. Damn it, Janet - it's full of so much fun, life and ludicrousness - after all, a mental mind fuck can be nice. It truly touch-a touch-a touch-a touches my heart! Great Scott, the film is outrageous - and just like Frank-N-Furter, you'll never want the party to end. I'll be watching it again this year; so let's do the Time Warp again!
Brent
BRENT DAVIDSON
MAITLAND HOME IN 'BEETLEJUICE' (1988)
Any house with Catherine O'Hara in it is a house I want some treats from. Let's be honest, a house with Catherine O'Hara in it is a treat. I remember being scared of this film when I first watched it - those puppets are twisted and my little mind could not cope! Watching it as a slightly less scared and slightly bigger-minded adult, I see it for the camp fun that it is. I know we've got two Tim Burton films on this list now, but who does wonderfully weird as well as the director? An all-star cast and a fantastic premise, I would take the house in either its original more homely state or its ultra-modern 1980s fast fashion moment. What a treat!
Lily
LILY MEEK
JACK SKELLINGTON'S HOUSE IN 'THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS' (1993)
If it's anything like the ride at Disneyland, I want to be in that cinnamon-smelling pumpkin graveyard 100% of the time. I feel like Jack would be a generous provider of lollies - and who doesn't love prepping for Christmas three months early?! 'This is Halloween' is still a bop, and I've been playing the Cleudo edition of this film the entirety of lockdown. If Jack Skellington is nice enough to have a board game... he's nice enough to host me.
Ashley
ASHLEY TERESA
261 TURNER LANE IN 'SCREAM' (1996)
Not only is Stu Macher (Matthew Lillard, 'He's All That') one of 'Scream's' best characters, he also has a pretty awesome house, which serves as the location for the curfew-breaking house party in the film's powerhouse final act. Sure, Stu ruins the vibe of his own party by revealing himself as one half of the killer duo, but 261 Turner Lane, Woodsboro boasts a stunning grand wooden staircase, a fireplace and a multi-car garage, perfect for snapping necks in. In fact, the house is so popular that it can be rented on Airbnb for your own killer house party!



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