AMSTERDAM

MORE LIKE AMSTER-DAMN THIS IS BORING

THEATRICAL REVIEW
By Chris Dos Santos
6th October 2022

Cinema is an interesting beast: as someone who works at a cinema, I've noticed both the effects of the rise of streaming as well as the impact of COVID-19 on the changing way we go to the movies. Even blockbusters don't have legs like they used to - of course we have outliers like 'Top Gun: Maverick', but both of August's big releases 'Bullet Train' and 'Nope' severely underperformed when in pre-COVID days, these films would have done just fine. Even Marvel films, while not failing, are still not events like they used to be. Why go out and spend $20 on a ticket when streaming services have premium premieres every other week and consumers know that cinematic content will be streaming in a matter of months or even weeks now? The way cinemas used to be just doesn't work any more, and studios are trying everything to get the box office back up and running. 'Amsterdam' is another attempt at using star power to hopefully bring in that box office gold.

'AMSTERDAM' TRAILER

'Amsterdam' follows a trio of friends, Burt Berendsen (Christian Bale, 'Thor: Love and Thunder', 'Ford v Ferrari') a doctor, Valerie Voze (Margot Robbie, 'The Suicide Squard', 'Bombshell') a nurse, and Harold Woodsman (John David Washington, 'BlacKkKlansman', 'Tenet'), a lawyer, who all get entangled in the murder of Elizabeth Meekins (Taylor Swift, 'Cats', 'Miss Americana') and become prime suspects.

David O. Russell, once a Hollywood golden boy, frequently earning awards nominations for his work on 'Silver Linings Playbook', 'American Hustle' and 'Joy', is also reportedly an absolute terrible person. A director in Hollywood; who would have thought. Frequent accusations of him making actors uncomfortable on set - George Clooney, Lily Tomlin and Amy Adams all coming forward with allegations - and physically assaulting Christopher Nolan at a 2004 party... In 2011, Russell's transgender niece filed a police report for sexual assault to which Russell confirmed he did in fact happen - and this is the man who actors like Margot Robbie, Zoe Saldaña, Anya Taylor-Joy and Taylor Swift all agreed to make a film with. Regardless of the quality of the film (which we are about to get into), don't see this movie. If you are a huge fan of one of these actors and just have to see it, wait until it's on streaming (Fox films usually appear on Disney+ within 45 days of their cinema release). More importantly, this man needs his platform taken away.

It's truly one of the biggest wastes of Hollywood money in a long time - it's bland, uninteresting and forgetful. Don't waste your energy on this mess.

As for the film we got, it's incredibly boring. Two hours of an interesting narrative playing out before you with every actor talking in a one-note bland tone, not a joke landing; every time another big name enters, I yawned with delight. It's a snoozefest in the purest sense, and it's doesn't deserve any energy put towards it. You can see every member of the cast in better things, so just stay home and watch them instead.

'Amsterdam' is truly one of the biggest wastes of Hollywood money in a long time - it's bland, uninteresting and forgetful. Don't waste your energy on this mess.

The 6th October in Australia is truly the wildest release day in a while. We get 'Don't Worry Darling', 'Amsterdam' and 'Wog Boys Forever' all together... what a blessing of controversy.

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