See that single solitary star to the right there? That star represents the only enjoyable parts of this movie: the vistas, the occasional decent line, and the Aston Martin. I left ‘The Other Woman’ lamenting the two hours of my life I would never get back. My companion thought it wasn’t that bad, but he’s a self-confessed philistine.
‘The Other Woman’ follows Carly (Cameron Diaz), a lawyer of some sort who thinks she’s finally found her perfect guy, Mark (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau). She even - gasp! - stops dating other guys! But oh no – he has a wife, Kate (Leslie Mann). She’s okay, if a bit mad, and despite Carly’s hesitance, they become “the weirdest friends ever,” and after finding Mark has more than one mistress, decide to take him down.
SWITCH: 'THE OTHER WOMAN' TRAILER
The film takes ages to get going, and even then, it’s stuck in second gear. The wife is revealed too early. We know instantly that Mark is a cheater (admittedly, all that was in the trailer, which is a marvel of dishonest advertising). And, if that wasn’t enough to lose your interest, the story drags, and then just ends. There was no climax, no excitement, and it felt like it went forever. Scenes are predictable and repetitive (there’s at least three waking-up-with-a-hangover moments), rely too heavily on ridiculous girly-bonding montages, and emphasise how pathetic the characters and their situations are. Just when you think this movie can’t get worse, it does - and seems to revel in it!
The two main characters, Kate and Carly, spend most of the film freaking out, falling over, and screeching at each other. There are one or two quiet moments when we’re supposed to feel for these poor women, but it's just impossible to develop any sort of empathy for the duo when their behaviour is completely at odds with reality.
The film takes ages to get going, and even then, it’s stuck in second gear.
Maybe one line was genuinely funny. The rest of the time the film was trying too hard to be amusing, and just wasn’t. I usually walk out of a film when it presents more than one vomit or poo joke, and this one had several. The only thing stopping me from leaving early was being in the middle of a packed row of seats.
The cast performances are okay, including Kate Upton as Mistress #2, Amber, but Nicki Minaj as Carly’s assistant is painful. The final scene with Mark is also particularly bad, overacted to the extreme. I know he’s a subtle and nuanced performer most of the time (‘Game of Thrones’), so I can only blame the direction and script. There simply was nothing for Diaz, Mann, and Coster-Waldau to work with here.
If you liked ‘The Hangover’ movies, and thrive on embarrassment, then this film might be for you. If you like a modicum of intellectual stimulation, don’t waste your money or your time on ‘The Other Woman’.