RELEASE DATE: 19/11/2015
RUN TIME: 1HR 25MIN
Neil Clarke (Simon Pegg) is a lonely school teacher in love with his dismissive neighbour Catherine (Kate Beckinsale). Meanwhile in space, a governing body of aliens is deciding whether or not to destroy Earth, like they have to thousands of other intelligent planets before. To decide, they give absolute power to one human to prove that we’re capable of good. Confused and overwhelmed with his new powers, Neil makes his best friend’s crush worship him - literally worship him. He then makes his unruly class a group of model students (then accidentally kills them all), and to add an air of whimsy, he makes his dog Dennis (Robin Williams) talk... and so the influx of catastrophe begins, complete with Catherine’s crazy stalker ex-boyfriend (Rob Riggle).
This film is written and directed by Monty Python alum Terry Jones. His pedigree alone should have knocked this one out the park, let along Pegg’s, Williams’ and the Python cast voicing the alien overlords. Sadly, the unoriginal idea, along with the script which I’m convinced was just a drunken concept written on a cocktail napkin, have left this floundering and grossly unfunny. Robin Williams’ talking, biscuit-loving, master-obsessed dog is the one and only highlight of the film - okay, and a "large penis" joke, if you’re into that kind of thing.
At the end of it all, 'Absolutely Anything' is just a sad waste of talent. If you’re a Python fan, don’t even bother, and if you’re a fan of any other cast members, look away now and just pretend this never happened.