This year's host, Jimmy Kimmel, is sure to have his work cut out for him in what is likely to be a very politically-charged evening.
Jess will be posting live updates for the duration of the awards ceremony, so stay up to date on the Oscars with SWITCH!
Well, that was something else. I think I need to lie down. But that's a wrap for the 89th Annual Academy Awards. See you all next year where hopefully things go a lot smoother. TTFN - Jess x
How does something like this even happen? Someone is SO getting fired.
Warren Beatty done fucked up and thus creating one of the worst and most awkward Oscar moments in history. This is all anyone will talk about. I feel so sorry for all of tonight's winners whose victory has now been overshadowed by a stupid error.
And the ACTUAL BEST PICTURE Oscar goes to... MOONLIGHT.
"Warren, what did you do!?"
WTF! This is not a joke! MOONLIGHT won BEST PICTURE over LA LA LAND.
And the Oscar for BEST PICTURE goes to... LA LA LAND.
And while most of us are hoping our favourite movie will win, host Jimmy Kimmel is hoping Matt Damon will lose. Too good.
Wow. 50th anniversary of Bonnie and Clyde sees the reunion of Faye Dunaway and Warren Beatty to present the Best Picture award.
We're almost there. Just one more award to go. The BIG one.
Emma, people will definitely be able to see you if you were a crack on the sidewalk now.
And the Oscar for BEST ACTRESS goes to... Emma Stone - La La Land. Yay Emma!!
Leo is coming! Leo is coming!
"Ben I love you, you ain't heavy."
And the Oscar for BEST ACTOR goes to... CASEY AFFLECK - 'Manchester by the Sea'.
It's now time for last year's Best Actress winner Brie Larson ('Room') to present this year's Best Actor Oscar.
32-year-old Damien is the youngest director in history to win an Oscar. Man, what am I doing with my life!?!
And the Oscar for BEST DIRECTOR goes to... DAMIEN CHAZELLE - La La Land
Halle Berry is here to present Best Director.
The set design for tonight has been incredible. Especially loving the hanging crystal Oscars.
Only half and hour to go. Now we're getting to the good stuff - Actor, Actress, Director and Picture. Stay with me people!
And here comes the cookie and doughnuts! Because according to Jimmy Kimmel the crowd needs something more "substantial" than candy. Pfft. Americans. Throw down some carrot sticks and hummus ya animals!
Apparently a "bajillion people are watching". Thanks Barry Jenkins.
And the Oscar for BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY goes to... MOONLIGHT - Barry Jenkins & Tarell Alvin McCraney
Boobs! *cough* I mean Amy Adams is now here to present Best Adapted Screenplay.
Rigged! Matt Damon presented his own film with the Best Original Screenplay Oscar. How did Jimmy let that one slip by?
And the Oscar for BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY goes to... MANCHESTER BY THE SEA - Kenny Lonergan.
Is Matt being played off?? This is the best!
Ben Affleck "and guest" take to the stage. Jimmy Kimmel strikes again. #poormatt
Jimmy's "inspiration" is Matt Damon's 'We Bought a Zoo'. Poor Matt.
Oh no. No Bill Paxton. I guess they didn't have time to edit the reel. Sad. But at least he was mentioned by presenter Jennifer Aniston beforehand.
Time for tissues. It's the In Memoriam with singer Sarah Bareilles and latest "inductee" Bill Paxton. "We are the music makers. And we are the dreamers who dream."
"My mom who let me quit the JC soccer squad to star in the school musical!" YES!
And the winner for BEST ORIGINAL SONG is... 'CITY OF STARS' - La La Land, Justin Hurwitz, Benj Pasek & Justin Paul.
Oooo it's time for Justin Timberlake vs La La Land vs Lin-Manuel Miranda! Who will come out on top?
And the Oscar for BEST ORIGINAL SCORE goes to... Justin Hurwitz - LA LA LAND. No surprises there. It's a damn musical!
It seems that The Rock and Sam shop at the same place. Or have the same stylist.
Sam "the man" L. Jackson is herrre!
Flying dancers! They have flying dancers, just like in La La Land. Flawless.
They've given the honour of singing 'City of Stars' and 'Audition (The Fools Who Dream) to John Legend.
Aw man! They're not performing. RIPPED OFF!
Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling take to the stage. Wow, they have great chemistry. They should star in a film together.
If Emma Stone looks like a crack whore then I want to get me some crack!
What the hell is "Resting fart face"??
MEAN TWEETS! MEAN TWEETS!
And the Oscar for ACHIEVEMENT in CINEMATOGRAPHY goes to... LA LA LAND - Linus Sandgren.
Javier Bardem presents his Inspiration: Meryl Streep.
Before going to break they previewed Sarah Bareilles. She better be singing the 'In Memoriam' because if she's singing 'Audition (The Fools Who Dream)' instead of Emma, imma be pissed!
Leslie Mann (dressed as Belle) and John Cho (seriously, I can't take much more - SO MUCH YUM!) trying to teach us about "film scientists" and how space movies aren't actually shot in space. Mind. Blown.
Jimmy Kimmel is live tweeting Donald Trump... with a booty call no less. #MerylSaysHi
And the Oscar for BEST SHORT FILM (Live Action) goes to... SING. (Not to be confused with the animated movie about an Australian Koala with a Texan accent)
And the Oscar for BEST DOCUMENTARY (Short Subject) goes to... THE WHITE HELMETS
Salma Hayek and David Oyelowo hit the stage to present Best Documentary Short Subject.
And now they're reenacting The Lion King while yet MORE candy parachutes down from the sky. Love it!
How cute is Sunny Pawar! He probably has absolutely no idea what Jimmy is saying.
That's two for Hacksaw Ridge now. Ooooo the Best Picture race just got interesting. P.S. Aussie! Aussie! Aussie!
And the Oscar for Achievement in FILM EDITING goes to... HACKSAW RIDGE - John Gilbert.
So now Seth, Michael J. Fox, the freaking Delorian and THOSE sneakers on Seth's feet present, or as he calls them "future shoes". And how Seth is singing 'Hamilton'. This show has got it all folks!
Seth Rogan's video inspiration 'Back to the Future' Abso-fucking-lutely!
And the Academy Award for ACHIEVEMENT in VISUAL EFFECTS goes to... THE JUNGLE BOOK - Robert Legato, Adam Valdez, Andrew R. Jones & Dan Lemmon.
Felicity Jones and Riz Ahmed (again, YUM!) are presenting Acheivement in Visual Effects.
An Oscars edition of MEAN TWEETS is coming up as is Ryan Gosling and John Legend performing. IT'S ALL HAPPENING!
There's a "traffic jam" due to all the selfies with Gosling. Makes sense.
Some woman just got "married" by her fav actor Denzel and scored Jen Aniston's sunglasses. So good!
Ryan Gosling is handing out candy and kisses. He is so cool.
Brace yourselves - the tour bus hath arrived. The lights are out... My question is, if these guys are so interested in Hollywood then why aren't they at home watching the Oscars? Hi Gary.
This is the first for La La Land so far. It's up for Best Picture and is the favourite to win. I thought so too but lately I'm thinking 'Hidden Figures'. What do you guys think?
And the Oscar for BEST PRODUCTION DESIGN goes to... LA LA LAND - David Wasco and Sandy Reynolds-Wasco.
Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson walk on stage. Ha! We've seen both of you naked...among other things. Kids at home are probably wondering who they are. Parents, I dare you to tell them.
And the Oscar for BEST ANIMATED FEATURE FILM goes to... 'ZOOTOPIA' Go Disney!! How appropriate that this film should win in this time.
And the Oscar for BEST ANIMATED SHORT goes to... PIPER. Yay PIXAR!!!! You would have seen this played before 'Finding Dory' last year.
But first... the award for Bets Animated Short Film presented by Hailee Steinfeld and Gael Garcia Bernal (yum!)
And here come the schmoes. Reminder: this is LIVE television. Live to BILLIONS of people across the globe.
The oh so yummy Dev Patel presents Sting to perform the next Best Original Song nominee - The Empty Chair for 'Jim: The James Foley Story'
And the Oscar for BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM goes to... THE SALESMAN (Iran). The filmmaker has chosen not to attend tonight's ceremony in protest. A move that has been applauded by the crowd.
Apparently this year's theme in Inspiration - hence the reels before the big awards. Charlize Theron's inspiration is Shirley MacLaine. (excellent choice Charlize) So together they present Best Foreign Language film.
Oh lord, some poor unsuspecting schmoes on a Hollywood tour bus are about to get a shock. On live TV no less. Thanks Jimmy.
"We are the only profession to celebrate what it means to live a life.' - Academy Award winner Viola Davis.
And the Oscar for BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS goes to... VIOLA DAVIS for 'Fences'. Damn straight! (Sorry Nicole)
It's Best Supporting Actress time - so naturally to award it is last year's Best Supporting Actor winner Mark Rylance.
Loving the flashback reels.
Vince Vaughn take to the stage to remind us all that Jackie Chan is still alive, has and will always be awesome. Duh! It's the Governor's Awards highlight reel.
And the Academy Award for ACHIEVEMENT in SOUND MIXING goes to... 'HACKSAW RIDGE" - Kevin O'Connell, Andy Wright, Robert Mackenzie & Peter Grace.
And the Oscar for ACHIEVEMENT in SOUND EDITING goes to... 'ARRIVAL' Sylvain Bellemare
The real candy is now being followed by eye candy - Chris Evans and Sofia Boutella present the Oscar for Sound Editing.
Candy is literally raining from the sky!!! Red vines and Junior Mints - (American) movie staples. Jimmy Kimmel rocks!!!
Ok, you can come back now. It was a beautiful speech. Shame y'all missed it.
Ok, if you need to pee or eat now is the time. the Academy president is making her speech. Sorry Madame President but you is boring.
16-year-old 'Moana' star Auli'i Cravalho is performing Best Original Song nominee 'How Far I'll Go' live at the Oscars. Get it girrrl.
Everyone shut up! Lin-Manuel Miranda is on stage!
The artist formally known as The Rock, the very dapper Dwayne Johnson just sang live to a billion people. And he could do it! Who knew?
I haven't seen 'O.J.: MADE IN AMERICA' but I have seen nominee 'LIFE, ANIMATED' and it's fantastic. I cannot encourage you to go out and see it more. Take everyone!
And the Academy Award for BEST DOCUMENTARY (FEATURE) goes to... 'O.J.: MADE IN AMERICA'
The fabulous 'Hidden Figures' girls take to the stage to welcome real life hidden figure Katherine Johnson played by Taraji P. Henson. Cue the standing ovation!
And the Oscar for BEST COSTUME DESIGN goes to...'Fantastic Beast and Where to Find Them' - Colleen Atwood.
And the Oscar for BEST MAKEUP & HAIRSTYLING goes to... 'Suicide Squad' - Alessandro Bertolazzi, Giorgio Gregorini & Christopher Nelson.
Yassss! Goddess Kate McKinnon and Jason Bateman have hit the stage to present 2 awards. Bring on the laughs.
I was devastated when Aaron Taylor-Johnson wasn't nominated, but after actually seeing 'Moonlight' I was amazed with Mahershala Ali's performance.
And the Academy Award for BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR goes to... MAHERSHALA ALI for 'Moonlight'
It's time for the first award of the night - to be presented by last year's Best Supporting Actress winner Alicia Vikander...
That's 5. And only 14 minutes in. Ok, I'll stop counting now otherwise it's going to be an even longer night.
That's 3. At Meryl's expense. We'll still take it. LOL.
"Black people saved NASA and white people saved Jazz. Now that's what I call progress." Yes! Joke of the night...so far.
And here comes the Matt Damon bashing...
Jimmy has hit the stage. Let's start the Trump joke count.
Ummm....are Meryl and Denzel's wife wearing the same dress?? Ok, someone's going to have to put a jacket on. Call wardrobe!
Since host Jimmy Kimmel isn't exactly a "song and dance man" this was really the smartest and only way they could have kicked the show off. Plus it ticks a Best Song performance off the list nice and early.
Justin Timberlake is kicking off the ceremony with his Oscar nominated Best Original Song 'Can't Stop the Feeling' - dammit. I should have put money that it was going to start this way.
5 minutes people! This is your 5 minute call.
I've spent my morning in typical Oscars fashion - watching the red carpet. I hate Emma Stone's dress - so of course she's going to win. Fav so far has to be Taraji P. Henson who has absolutely SLAYED it! Wow!
10 minutes to go! First time Oscars host Jimmy Kimmel will take to the stage - with Matt Damon in his crosshairs no doubt. And Australia has a record 13 nominees. Wooooo!
It's less than 20 minutes until showtime people! I haven't showered, I'm wearing the world's most comfortable track pants that I bought for 6 Euros, no bra and my dirty hair is piled on top of my head with a clip. I'm ready, to PARTYYYY!