MORTAL KOMBAT LEGENDS: SCORPION'S REVENGE

Ranked from least to most obnoxious, the core good guys are kung-fu warrior Liu Kang (Jordan Rodrigues, 'Lady Bird'), thunder god Raiden (Dave B. Mitchell, 'The Queen's Corgi'), movie star Johnny Cage (Joel McHale, 'The Happytime Murders'), and soldier Sonya Blade (Jennifer Carpenter, 'Dragged Across Concrete'). "I'm not interested," Sonya tells Johnny upon their first meeting, who creepily replies, "You will be. They always are." Their banter is truly the worst.

Meanwhile, Scorpion is rampaging through hell like 'Samurai Jack' until he encounters necromancer Quan Chi (Darin De Paul), prompting a scene that tips its hat to Ralph Bakshi's cult fantasy 'Fire & Ice' (this movie is fond of cool cinematic references that would likely fly over the head of its target audience). As the participants engage each other in escalating showdowns: Scorpion plots his own vengeance from beyond the grave against Sub-Zero (Steve Blum), the ice magic-wielding ninja responsible for the loss of his family.

One of the first, most striking things about this movie is how gruesomely violent its action sequences are. It takes a lot of visual cues from the games itself and the aforementioned far better films. For example, a scene where Jax gets his arms torn off by Goro is swiped from Yoshiaki Kawajiri's 'Ninja Scroll'. This is no Studio Ghibli cartoon intended for audiences of all ages. Rather, it is gory and unashamed of being unsavoury, relying on shock value for dramatic effect. This film knows its audience is here for the hard-hitting action the franchise is infamous for, and it certainly delivers, even if it means we have to see dozens of x-ray shots of skulls being crushed and tendons being snapped. 'Mortal Kombat Legends: Scorpion's Revenge' exhausts its bag of tricks around 30 minutes into its running time but, like Johnny Cage unsuccessfully attempting to chat up Sonya Blade and avoid getting kicked in the family jewels, it ploughs on regardless.

The second-most striking thing about this film is how awful everything else is.

Character designs are flat (Raiden's conical hat looks ... weird) and ugly (black bars appear on cheekbones and knuckles in lieu of shadows) and stiffly animated until the action scenes arrive - the quicker that everything moves, the silkier the animation becomes.

As you can imagine from a film based on a fighting game and titled 'Mortal Kombat Legends: Scorpion's Revenge', the screenplay is not this film's strong suit. The story acts as an introduction to the 'Mortal Kombat' franchise for new viewers (serving the same purpose as the 90s prequel cartoon 'Mortal Kombat: The Journey Begins'). The characters are secondary to the fights, with barely enough background provided for the various combatants and the nature of the tournament they are participating in. Johnny and Sonya receive the most time in the spotlight and get the closest to having character arcs. Many faces familiar to longtime fans of the franchise appear just long enough to grunt out a line of dialogue before being pounded into a slurry of blood and bone fragments.

On the subject of dialogue, did I mention that the playful banter between Sonya and Johnny is excruciating? "I'm going to use your ass as my own personal punching bag," Sonya promises an enemy, prompting Johnny to chime in with: "Ohhh, that's so hot." Later in the film, Sonya asks an opponent to respect her personal boundaries: "Fuckballs, no one touches me without permission." A romantic subplot between the two characters is Shakespearean in its tenderness, as Johnny confiders to another character: "Ya know, I guess I don't mind having my balls crushed ... by her, I mean!"

Ultimately, I was left wondering who the fuck this movie was targeted at. The violence and language are incredibly graphic, yet the insultingly basic plot, characterisation and dialogue are surely aimed at children. Is this an animated film for adult fans who are recovering from a traumatic brain injury? Kid psychopaths? Extremely undemanding teenagers?

If you're a fan of the video games, then stick to them - the visuals and narrative deliver a much higher level of sophistication than 'Mortal Kombat Legends: Scorpion's Revenge'.