FANTASTIC BEASTS: THE CRIMES OF GRINDELWALD

It’s 1927. Evil wizard Gellert Grindelwald (Johnny Depp, ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ franchise) A.K.A. Voldemort Mark 1 has escaped the clutches of the Ministry of Magic in New York, and sets about assembling the dominoes for his master plan. Meanwhile over in London, Newt Scamander (Eddie Redmayne, ‘The Theory of Everything’) is lodging yet another fruitless appeal to the Ministry to lift his travel ban when Albus Dumbledore (Jude Law, ‘Spy’) tasks him with going after Grindelwald in Paris as he is unable to for typically Dumbledore mysterious reasons. Along the way we also meet Leta Lestrange (Zoë Kravitz, TV’s ‘Big Little Lies’), Newt’s brother Theseus (Callum Turner, ‘Assassin's Creed’), Tina, Queenie and Jacob make returns, as does Credence, the key to Grindelwald’s plan and his offsider, an inexplicable snake woman played by Claudia Kim (‘Avengers: Age Of Ultron’).

While it pains me to say this, J.K. Rowling did a really terrible job with this screenplay. The whole thing is lazy, contrived, and has way too much exposition. If the rumours are true then we have at least three more ‘Fantastic Beasts’ films to look forward to, but ‘Crimes of Grindelwald’ smacks of a two-hour setup piece whose payoff is still years away. In the 'Harry Potter' films, we always knew that a showdown between Harry and Voldemort was the end game, but in between we had marvellous adventures to pass the time and edge us closer until that day arrived. In the ‘Fantastic Beasts’ world, there appears to simply be a point A and a point B, and from the looks of things, there are going to be many wasted cinematic hours joining those two points. Nowhere in this new film does anyone try to curb fans' and cinemagoers' issues and concerns with its protagonist, villain and sidekicks appointed after the first film. Instead it just shoves more in, gives them convoluted backstories to try to tie them in with ‘Harry Potter’, giving fans a nice little jolt, but ultimately it comes at the detriment of the film and story as a whole. When you create an entire franchise around a man who deals in magical creatures, it’s limiting when he’s not strong or a fighter or a particularly gifted wizard, leaving you to derive the action and excitement elsewhere and force the appearance of said creatures where they don’t belong. Again, lazy.

With new generations of 'Harry Potter' readers being introduced yearly the thirst for more of this world is vast and growing, but that doesn’t mean you can take advantage of their loyalty or their perceived knowledge. We the audience demand and expect excellence and originality from those who showed us that it was possible, so I don’t think it’s too much to ask that that continues. We’ll give you this one, but now it’s time to get your shit back together.