Keep up-to-date on your favourite artists and movies, track gig and release dates, and join in the conversation.
SEARCH RESULTS FOR
Click here to listen to a brand new episode of Ink & Paint as Daniel discusses the groundbreaking classic 'One Hundred and One Dalmatians'!x
review, xXx: Return Of Xander Cage, xXx:, Return, Of, Xander, Cage, film, movie, latest movies, new movie, movie ratings, current movie reviews, latest films, recent movies, current movies, movie critics, new movie reviews, latest movie reviews, latest movies out, the latest movies, review film, latest cinema releases, Australian reviews, cinema, cinema reviews, Vin Diesel, Ruby Rose, Tony Jaa, Rory McCann, Deepika Padukone, Donnie Yen, Kris Wu, Nina Dobrev, Shawn Roberts, Michael Bisping, D.j. Caruso, Action, Adventure, Sequel, Thriller film rating

xXx: RETURN OF XANDER CAGE

★★

THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY

THEATRICAL REVIEW
LATEST REVIEWS
By Jess Fenton
18th January 2017

With Daniel Craig's fate as James Bond up in the air, many have started to speculate as to who the new 007 should be. Is it time to break the rules and cast an actor of colour in the role, or shall the infamous tuxedo become a sexy evening gown filled by a Jamie Bond perhaps? While the rest of the world salivates over the mere fantasy of Idris Elba with a license to kill (myself included), it did suddenly dawn on me that we've already got a "black James Bond" - only this one goes by the name of Xander Cage. He may not have the tux or that buttery British accent but he has a Q, an M, and a problem with authority despite working for it. He's fearless. Charming. Bags any babe he can get his hands on. Always seems to have a steady stream of quips and atrocious one-liners in his back pocket, and always starts his adventures with a daring and comically impossible opening sequence. Your minds are totally blown right now, aren't they?

SWITCH: 'xXx: RETURN OF XANDER CAGE' TRAILER 2

It's been 15 years since Vin Diesel adopted the Xander Cage guise. But he didn't don it for the 2005 sequel - that "honour" was left to Ice Cube. In true Diesel style, he left when the going got good - just like the 'Fast and Furious' franchise - only to return down the road when the going didn't turn out to be as good as expected. Alas, Vin (and Xander) is back, front and centre in franchise heaven where he belongs.

This time around, Xander is "back from the dead" and recruited once again, this time by NSA agent Jane Marke (Toni Collette) to recover "Pandora's Box" - a device that can basically do anything others don't want you to do. At the moment it's being used to systematically bring any of Earth's 33,000 satellites down on any target. Assembling his own team of the good, the bad and the extreme (Ruby Rose, Kris Wu and Rory McCann), they first have to track down a couple of ghosts - but things start getting complicated when it turns out not everything is as it seems.

So, here's what 'xXx" gets wrong: it's the world's stupidest movie. The special effects that make 'Land of the Lost' look believable. The cringe-worthy dialogue and one-liners that makes 'GoldenEye' read like Shakespeare. And the cliché women in barely any clothing with pouty lips. But here's what 'xXx' gets right: The United Colours of Benetton casting and the epic stunts and action sequences. But here's where 'xXx' gets confusing: it's too serious to be funny, yet too funny to be serious. If the film didn't take itself so seriously it would be an awesome action, adventure, laugh riot. In fact, it's so stupid you can't help but wonder if the joke is on us and they're just taking the piss. But then again, they don't seem to be laughing at themselves - at least not for the majority of the time - so where do we stand?

It's so stupid you can't help but wonder if the joke is on us and they are just taking the piss.

Here's what I do know: Toni Collette should be embarrassed. There will undoubtedly be a fourth 'xXx' film. The opening sequence needed to be three times as long and then it could possibly rival any James Bond opener. I'm pretty sure not even Vin himself can tell the difference between Xander Cage and Dominic Toretto. Just one month after stealing the show in 'Rogue One', Donnie Yen is at it again in 'Return of Xander Cage'. I sort of liked Nina Dobrev's character (after a while) but at the end I still kinda wanted to punch her in the face. Most of the (almost) non-stop action is pretty cool.

Look, at the end of the day, 'xXx: Return of Xander Cage' and Xander Cage himself have a mandate: kick some arse. Get the girl. And try to look dope doing it. Mission accomplished.

FAST FACTS
RELEASE DATE: 19/01/2017
RUN TIME: 1h 47m
CAST: Vin Diesel
Ruby Rose
Tony Jaa
Rory McCann
Deepika Padukone
Donnie Yen
Kris Wu
Nina Dobrev
Shawn Roberts
Michael Bisping
DIRECTOR: D.j. Caruso
WRITER: F. Scott Frazier
PRODUCERS: Neal H. Moritz
Vin Diesel
Joe Roth
Jeff Kirschenbaum
Samantha Vincent
www.ReturnOfXanderCage.com
ReturnOfXanderCageAU
xxxMovie
TOP-RATED REVIEWS
Then Came You - A life-changing journey
TRENDINGWIN THEN CAME YOUA life-changing journey
Cosmic Sin - Interstellar battle between humans and aliens
TRENDINGWIN COSMIC SINInterstellar battle between humans and aliens
Pocahontas - 25 years later, the colours of the wind are fading
TRENDINGPOCAHONTAS25 years later, the colours of the wind are fading
The Violin Player - Sex and strings
TRENDINGTHE VIOLIN PLAYERSex and strings
Cosmic Sin - A film that delivers on the promise of its title
TRENDINGCOSMIC SINA film that delivers on the promise of its title
Revisiting 'Dark City' 20 years later - The most underrated and influential sci-fi film ever?
TRENDINGREVISITING 'DARK CITY' 20 YEARS LATERThe most underrated and influential sci-fi film ever?
Raya and the Last Dragon - A solid return to form for Walt Disney Animation Studios
TRENDINGRAYA AND THE LAST DRAGONA solid return to form for Walt Disney Animation Studios
The Odd Family: Zombie on Sale - An extremely silly zomedy
TRENDINGTHE ODD FAMILY: ZOMBIE ON SALEAn extremely silly zomedy
Lion - A raw and powerful journey of identity
TRENDINGLIONA raw and powerful journey of identity
Boss Level - Nostalgic action and quirky foes
TRENDINGBOSS LEVELNostalgic action and quirky foes
Then Came You - Then came the same movie over and over again
TRENDINGTHEN CAME YOUThen came the same movie over and over again
Wet Woman in the Wind - A sexy struggle for conquest
TRENDINGWET WOMAN IN THE WINDA sexy struggle for conquest
The Truffle Hunters - Joy and dedication in the dirt of Northern Italy
TRENDINGTHE TRUFFLE HUNTERSJoy and dedication in the dirt of Northern Italy
A Call to Spy - The unknown stories of real-life heroes
TRENDINGA CALL TO SPYThe unknown stories of real-life heroes
Kuessipan - Coming of age story in an Innu community
TRENDINGKUESSIPANComing of age story in an Innu community
When Hitler Stole Pink Rabbit - A charming and poignant tale of survival
TRENDINGWHEN HITLER STOLE PINK RABBITA charming and poignant tale of survival
25 Free-to-Watch Short Horror Films - The scariest shorts we uncovered online
TRENDING25 FREE-TO-WATCH SHORT HORROR FILMSThe scariest shorts we uncovered online
Jupiter's Moon - Defies gravity
TRENDINGJUPITER'S MOONDefies gravity
Melbourne Queer Film Festival 2021 - The reviews
TRENDINGMELBOURNE QUEER FILM FESTIVAL 2021The reviews
© 2011 - 2021 midnightproductions
All rights reserved

Support SWITCH | Disclaimer | Contact Us!